1992 Directed by Alex de la Iglesia Starring Antonio Resines, Alex Angulo and Frederique Feder ACCION MUTANTE, Alex de la Iglesia's first feature, is such a great movie it will probably never have an official US release. This film has been a bootleg hit for quite some time, so most of the target audience has probably already seen it. Besides, it would be inexplicably edited for a US release anyway, so a jumpy bootleg is better than a botched attempt to make this movie acceptable for Blockbuster. But can one make a movie about a group of crippled terrorists P.C. enough for Blockbuster? No, probably not, and this is yet another reason why this movie will probably never see the light of day outside the bootleg circuit. It may happen, but if it hasn't happened already, it will be a while before it does. But I'm not here to lament about the quality of US film distribution, no my dear patients, I'm here to tell you of the wonders of ACCION MUTANTE. As I previously stated, the film is about a band of crippled terrorists called Accion Mutante or Mutant Action. They wage war on the beautiful people, those people who smell nice, go on diets, do aerobics, wear designer clothing and drink mineral water. The only problem is that apart from being crippled freaks, they are also not very good at being terrorists. This has not been lost on their leader Ramon, who has had to watch their bumbling on the news during a 5 year prison sentence. Upon his release, Ramon sets up a big kidnapping job that should keep the mutantes rolling in cash for quite some time. There is a catch though, that being the fact that Ramon has no plans to share the money with his fellow mutantes. He begins to kill off the gang members one by one while heading to the ransom drop-off point. From his comely hostage falling in love with him, to crashing into the planet where he's picking up the money, and a former ally that just won't die, nothing goes as planned for poor Ramon. Such is the life of a Mutante. With special effects from the DELICATESSEN team and the brilliant writing and directing of Alex de la Iglesia, I dare you not to thoroughly enjoy ACCION MUTANTE. It is almost unbelievable that this was Alex de la Iglesia's first movie as it is just that good. So it should come as no surprise that Accion Mutante gets 4 Doctor Muertes out of 4 on the Muertemeter.
Doctor Muerte prescrides the following for viewers of ACCION MUTANTE: *Don't lose weight, don't smell good, don't drink mineral water. Mutante! Mutante! Mutante!
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1986 Directed by
Gary Weiss Remember when Chris Elliot was allowed to be funny? No? Then you must see ACTION FAMILY, one of two specials Chris Elliott did for Cinemax that are contained on a tape called CHRIS ELLIOTT. ACTION FAMILY is a parody of sitcoms and cop shows, and perfectly sends up both in just half an hour. This show is one of the funniest things the Doctor has ever laid his masked eyes on. Perfect, it's absolutely perfect. ACTION FAMILY follows tough guy P.I. Chris Elliott as he tries to track down a serial killer that is knocking off jazz musicians. But it also contains the hilarious antics of Chris' suburban family. When Chris is out being a P.I., he wears a permed wig and a tacky suit jacket. Everything is shot like an action show, with the typical music and gritty camera work that go with those kind of shows. When he comes home to his family, he takes off the wig and puts on a sweater. Chris is just your average suburban Dad just trying to keep his loopy wife and wacky kids in line. Not to mention Grandpa, who exists solely as an off-camera toilet-flushing sound effect. Laugh tracks and audience banter accompany the typical sitcom cliches in the world of Chris the average Dad. Everywhere outside of the wacky sitcom world exists the gritty world of Chris the P.I., and when the worlds collide, it's sheer comic genius. It is a shame that Chris Elliott hasn't really gotten to do anything this funny since "Get A Life" was cancelled. He is easily one of the funniest actors working today and is certainly better than overpaid schmucks like Jim Carrey. Sure, Chris Elliott is in plenty of things these days, but they are simply awful. There ought to be a law against abusing Chris Elliott. ACTION FAMILY gets 4 Doctor Muertes out of 4 on the Muertemeter.
Doctor Muerte prescribes the following for viewers of ACTION FAMILY: *If you see this tape at your local vendor, purchase or rent it and watch repeatedly until memories of "Cursed," the recent Chris Elliott show, are erased.
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1980 Directed
by Buddy Van Horn
The orangutan playing Clyde this time around knows more tricks and it is from this movie that the immortal quote "Right turn, Clyde" comes from. This movie has a goofier tone than the first, which doesn't make it a bad movie, but there is something slightly less enjoyable about it due to the upping of the goofiness. It isn't goofiness on the part of Clyde but the people who are betting on the fight between Philo and Jack Wilson. There is just something about the silliness of the gamblers on the private jet that rubs me any wrong way it can. Just like in "Every Which Way But Loose," the fight scenes are great and Clint plays a great straight man to an orangutan. In the end I give this movie three Doctor Muertes out of four on the Muertemeter. Not a bad sequel but not quite as good as the first. Now if you want a great sequel, I'm looking for backers for the tail end of the trilogy. I call it "The Only Which Way That's Left". Any takers?
Doctor Muerte prescribes the following for viewers of ANY WHICH WAY YOU CAN: *Be aware that there is a better Clyde this time around. *600mg
of the opening song BEERS TO YOU sung by Clint Eastwood and Ray Charles.
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Directed
by Roger Christian BATTLEFIELD EARTH is the tale of planet Earth in the year 3000. Man is an endangered species due to the appearance of an alien race called the Psychlos over 1000 years ago. The Psychlos have come to mine all of Earth's precious resources for the home office on planet Psychlo. The Psychlos are bad news all around, they stand over 8 feet tall, have dreadlocks, bad teeth and care only about getting drunk and making a profit from alien worlds. But all is not lost for the human race, as we have our hero Jonnie Goodboy Tyler to save the day. This is easily one of the funniest movies I have ever seen. There are so many unexplainably bad elements to this movie that you can watch it an unlimited number of times and never see the same movie twice. For instance, if you are foolish enough to try and follow the plot you will be faced with so many holes that you will start to make up your own scenarios to explain why things are happening. And I guess in the year 3000 the earth has become a fishing boat caught in a monsoon as nearly every shot is on an angle. Even the Psychlo "picto-cameras" shoot on an angle, so there is obviously something wrong with the Earth's axis in the year 3000. Or maybe all the tripods were broken, again you could spend hours trying to figure out why this movie is the way it is. But I assure you that by attempting this you will only confuse yourself further. Now I must take time to reflect upon the performance of John Travolta as the evil Terl. Mere words can not describe the gut wrenching hilarity of Travolta's labor of love. It is on par with Tiny Tim's performance in Bill Rebane's epic BLOOD HARVEST in that it is so over the top it seems like it belongs in a different movie. It's a shame that Tiny Tim is no longer with us as he would have made one hell of a Psychlo. But we're not here to wonder about what could have been, no we're here to sit in shocked amazement at what exists. Did I mention that a large percent of this movie was shot in slow motion? No, well I kid you not, fair patients, as nearly every action scene takes place in slow motion. Why? Beats the hell out of me. I am salivating over the impending DVD release with director's commentary. Will Roger Christian explain this mess or will the audio track be one long apology? I will have to write another review for the DVD as BATTLEFIELD EARTH is just such a mess that one review can't contain it all. Another head scratching element of B.E. is that almost every scene ends with a Star Wars style wipe that opens the scene up in the middle to reveal another scene underneath the one that has just ended. This way you can walk up to the screen and pull apart the scene and say "Gee I wonder what's under this scene? Well I'll be damned it's another scene. I bet there's a whole movie in here." Of course this would be a moronic thing to do in the theater or the privacy of your own dungeon, but hell, it's no less moronic than any decision that was made during the filming of BATTLEFIELD EARTH. What makes the whole thing tragically funny is that this movie was Travolta's dream project and a true labor of love. You can tell that they were trying really hard, but to do what I'll never know. I give BATTLEFIELD EARTH 4 Doctor Muertes out of 4 on the Muertemeter for being a true crap masterpiece as well as one of the most enjoyable crap masterpieces I have ever seen.
Doctor Muerte prescribes the following for viewers of BATTLEFIELD EARTH: *1000mg of anything said by John Travolta, you are guaranteed a laugh every time he opens his mouth. *Great Hubbard technojargon such as "Psychlo breath gas", "picto-camera" and "learning chair". I am humbled by such intelligent work by one of the masters of the sci-fi genre. *Watch this with somebody who hasn't seen BATTLEFIELD EARTH after you have seen it a couple of times. Sit back and enjoy as they demand to know just what the hell is going on in the movie. It will be like seeing it for the first time again through the eyes of your victim.
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Directed
by Bill Rebane Bill Rebane, purveyor of fine cinema that he is, had the brilliant idea of casting Tiny Tim is his first and only starring role as the Marvelous Mervo for his epic BLOOD HARVEST. I must admit that I am a bit biased, as I am a huge fan of the late Tiny Tim, but that does not change the fact that everyone should see BLOOD HARVEST. The plot of this masterpiece concerns a series of killings in a financially distressed Midwestern farming community. But throw all that plot nonsense out the window because you won't be needing it here. Tiny Tim puts in such an over-the-top performance as the Marvelous Mervo, a mentally unbalanced man who is always in clown makeup. Tiny Tim is supported by the appropriately terrible Itonia Salochek as Jill, a girl who is visiting her parents. Her parents must have been immigrants, as Itonia has a thick accent that is anything but Midwestern. Jill returns home to find her parents are mysteriously missing and the boy she left behind is still in love with her. The boy she left behind just happens to be Marvelous Mervo's brother and caretaker, since their parents supposedly committed suicide. The entire movie tries to lead you in the direction of thinking that Marvelous Mervo is the man behind the killings. But it doesn't try hard enough, as the killer doesn't come close enough to resembling Tiny Tim's massive frame. The video box promises an unlikely savior and I'll give you one guess who it is. This movie has some bloody murders and some strange torture pieces but what makes this movie so close to the Doctor's black heart is Tiny Tim. The fact that this was Tiny Tim's only starring role must be due to the realization that Tiny Tim had achieved acting perfection as Marvelous Mervo and any other starring roles would just be an insult to the genius on display in BLOOD HARVEST. The Doctor gives BLOOD HARVEST the rare rating of 4 Dr. Muertes out of 4 on the Muerte Meter.
Doctor Muerte prescribes the following for viewers of BLOOD HARVEST: *Take Tiny Tim's Marvelous Mervo theme song with food. *500mg of Marvelous Mervo trying to cheer up Jill with flowers and a bizarre clown routine. *Do not operate heavy machinery while watching the scene where Jill gets dressed to answer the phone and nods yes while talking on the phone.
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Directed
by Peter Jackson Most of you have probably seen this movie under the US title DEAD ALIVE, and if you enjoyed it, that means you saw the unrated version. But if you haven't seen BRAINDEAD, you haven't seen the whole thing. BRAINDEAD is the full cut of the movie and it contains so little extra footage that I must vent my frustration at the way foreign movies are handled when they hit the states. BRAINDEAD is the story of a diseased monkey that bites an old woman who then becomes a zombie as a result and eventually creates an army of zombies. This leaves it up to the old woman's son Lionel and his girlfriend Paquita to dispose of her and her army of zombies. Here is where I begin my tirade: most of the footage that was cut happens during the massive zombie massacre at the end. Most noticeably absent are a scene where Paquita and another woman split a pair of zombie legs apart and use them as clubs on the zombies and the death of the constantly fornicating priest and nurse who die by impaling themselves on a spike while screwing. Now, how is it that this footage is so offensive that it couldn't make the "unrated" cut? There is nothing more offensive about these scenes than anything else that happens in this movie. So why was it cut? Is there a law that states that no movie made outside of America can arrive the way it should be seen outside of buying bootlegs? There must be because it happens all the time. There is no good reason outside of Peter Jackson removing those scenes himself for them to be taken out of what is supposedly an unrated version of this movie. My patients, I vow to find the answer to this nonsense -- and if I mysteriously vanish, then avenge my death for they have killed me for getting to close to the secrets of US distribution of foreign films. I am aware that this happens to American filmmakers as well, but we have the MPAA to thank for making sure that no one can get their movie to theaters in one piece. But who is responsible for the butchering of foreign films that usually bypass theaters and arrive in stores under the uncut and unrated banners? All that aside, it is not worth tracking down a bootleg copy of BRAINDEAD just to see these scenes, as it is no less enjoyable than the unrated DEAD ALIVE, but that doesn't make it right. BRAINDEAD/DEAD ALIVE is Peter Jackson's most enjoyable film to date and gets 4 Doctor Muertes out of 4 on the Muertemeter.
Doctor Muerte prescribes the following for viewers of BRAINDEAD: *500mg of rich creamy custard. *Find anyone responsible for the US release of
Dead Alive. I want them brought before me so I can question them in my torture
research laboratory.
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| BREAKFAST OF CHAMPIONS or GOODBYE BLUE CONSTIPATION 1999 Directed
by Alan Rudolph (If he was smart he would've used Smithee for his last name.) Warning: this is not a movie but it is in fact one of the most powerful laxatives the Doctor has ever encountered. After viewing this spectacle I woke my assistant Nurse D.O.A. and told her that she was lucky to have slept through BREAKFAST OF CHAMPIONS because I was certain that I was seconds away from violent diarrhea. I did not misdiagnose myself, for I was clutching the sides of the toilet begging for mercy immediately after saying this. How can one describe this film? It's easy, for it is identical to the effect it has on humans. In short, BREAKFAST OF CHAMPIONS is an hour and a half of merciless diarrhea. This movie is so foul that I believe it will be buried in the desert right next to all those unsold copies of the E.T. Atari 2600 game. Sure, there may be some curious Vonnegut fans that may dig this film up from time to time. But I guarantee that after they recover from Rudolph's Revenge they will bury once again. This movie does everything in its power to be nothing like the book upon which it was based. For God's sake, they even went so far as to tack on a namby-pamby Hollywood ending. Now I know that BREAKFAST OF CHAMPIONS is not exactly a book that would be easy to film, but they didn't even try and that's what makes this so horrible. If Kurt Vonnegut would play himself in BACK TO SCHOOL, then why wouldn't he in BREAKFAST OF CHAMPIONS? The way the brilliant filmmakers get around having Vonnegut be a character is too painful to recount. In fact there isn't much I can tell about this movie for simply thinking about it brings on another terrible bout of diarrhea. It is not often that I will tell you to stay away from a movie, but I must in the case of Breakfast of Champions. DO NOT SEE BREAKFAST OF CHAMPIONS; IT WILL DO IRREPAIRABLE HARM TO YOUR DIGESTIVE SYSTEM! That about says it all and I know that there are those of you out there that think that it can't be as bad as I have said or maybe you have been inspired to see how bad it really is by this review. So for those of you out there that will not heed my medical advice, may you get all that is coming to you. The Doctor gives Breakfast of Champions 0 Doctor Muertes out of 4 on the Muertemeter, but I do have plans to use it as a weapon on those who dare enter my laboratory uninvited.
Doctor Muerte prescribes the following for viewers of Breakfast of Champions: *A case of Pedialyte and a bulk supply of toilet paper.
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Directed
by Ruggero Deodato CANNIBAL HOLOCAUST is one of the great sleaze masterpieces of all time. It is an attempt to critique the mondo movie genre by suggesting that the directors of mondo movies not only seek out scenes of death and destruction but may instigate them as well. The plot revolves around the disappearance of a morally corrupt mondo movie film crew. When they vanished, the crew was working on a film called "The Green Inferno" in Colombia. This sounds like a job for NYU's noted anthropologist Professor Monroe. Professor Monroe goes into the jungles of Colombia to find the crew or at least some evidence of their demise. What he finds after bonding with two native tribes are the skeletal remains of the crew and cans of film. He takes the film back to New York, to screen for a TV company that is interested in buying the product. The footage shows the crew performing horrific acts of rape and murder on the natives and then their ultimate grisly demise at the hands of the pissed off Yamamomo tribe. The TV company agrees with Professor Monroe that the footage should be destroyed, but we are told in a bit of text at the end that the projectionist at the TV company sold the footage for $250,000 and was caught for it but only had to serve two months in jail and pay a $10,000 fine. This leaves us with the message that just because something is too trashy to sell as a mondo movie doesn't mean that you can't make money off of it. The movie never fully condemns the mondo movie genre, as we are witness to so many scenes of incredible brutality before we even get to the documentary footage. These scenes of brutality are just everyday occurrences for those wacky savages. But if this is the case, then why did the documentary crew feel it was necessary to create their own scenes of real-life violence? I don't really know and I don't really care. I enjoy CANNIBAL HOLOCAUST because it is the best of the brutal cannibal genre that was popular in the late 70's and early 80's and it handles the fact that it is an exploitation film in the least scummy of ways, making it almost successful social commentary. I can't really fault it for sticking to the roots of the genre that made these films popular and it's social commentary fall flat either. I also like Cannibal Holocaust because it is one of those movies that genuinely disgusts or offends most people you will show it to. I have even encountered people that have mistaken this movie for a real snuff film. They don't make 'em like this anymore and they probably never will again. I give CANNIBAL HOLOCAUST 4 Doctor Muertes out of 4 on the Muertemeter.
Doctor Muerte prescribes the following for viewers of CANNIBAL HOLOCAUST: *700mg of the turtle dismemberment scene. Killing animals on camera is a staple of the cannibal and mondo genres and no animals appeared more than giant turtles in these types of scenes. *An aroma therapy session with the
punishment given to women of the Yacumo tribe who are unfaithful to their spouses.
Incidentally, the woman who receives this punishment is obviously white, but cleverly
disguised as a Yacumo by being covered in mud.
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1979 Directed
by Stephen Jon Lewicki A CERTAIN SACRIFICE is a musical about that old story of boy meets girl, girl lives with family of lovers, girl gets raped, rapist gets his heart ripped out in a ritual sacrifice. I must have seen that story played out thousands of times and this is by far the worst version of that tale I've ever seen. This is a movie Madonna made before she was MADONNA and has the look and quality of an art school student film. My God! It IS an art school student film! Run like hell from A CERTAIN SACRIFICE. Only the strongest sadomasochist can sit through the entire 60 minutes of this film without falling asleep or committing suicide. I did it once, and when I came out of the psychotic hallucinatory state the movie put me in, I found I had been incarcerated for ripping out men's hearts in South America. I'll explain how I escaped the jungle prison at a later date. I give A Certain Sacrifice 1 Doctor Muerte out of 4 on the Muertemeter.
Doctor Muerte prescribes the following for viewers of A CERTAIN SACRIFICE: *If
swelling occurs then apply the only reason this movie receives 1 instead of 0
on the Muertemeter. It is a scene in which the hero serenades Madonna with an
acapella rock song. Seeing this idiot singing like a guitar is one of the saddest
and funniest things I have ever watched someone do. But I don't know if it's worth
waking up in a South American jungle prison just to see this scene.
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| CITY OF THE WALKING DEAD
1980 Directed
by Umberto Lenzi Starring Hugo Stiglitz, Laura Trotter, Mel Ferrer, Maria Rosaria Omaggio, Francisco Robal and Sonia Viviani This movie has one of the most ridiculous beginnings I have ever seen. A plane full of humans that have become zombies due to some sort of nuclear accident lands and some of the crappiest looking zombies ever committed to celluloid run out of the plane with knives, sledgehammers and other weapons you don't usually see in the hands of zombies. Then they start killing all the soldiers that were waiting on the runway and drinking their blood. You see these radioactive zombies need to drink blood for some stupid pseudo scientific reason. This opening scene is a trick however, because the rampaging zombie mob is not nearly as entertaining for the rest of the movie. True, it would be hard to maintain the fever pitch of sheer silliness that this movie piles on at the start, but there are funny things throughout like the zombie make up that looks like people with chocolate cake on their faces. Plus there is a somewhat amusing attack on the set of an aerobics show. (Of course there is a better scene of this sort in the superb ACCION MUTANTE.) But the funniest thing apart from the beginning is the end. You see it ends with the whole mess that is this film, being just a nightmare. Then that evil plane lands and the running zombies get off, making the nightmare a reality. Can't you see what is being said here? While we are sleeping, unspecified governments are making radioactive zombies by accident and then letting them get on planes. We must be alert and put an end to this unspecified country's misuse of nuclear power before we are all knee deep in chocolate cake faced zombies running around and hitting people with sledge hammers. All social relevance aside this is a not a good movie, it's not even a good bad movie. City of the Walking Dead gets 1.5 Doctor Muerte's out of 4 on the Muertemeter. Doctor Muerte prescribes the following for viewers of City of the Walking Dead: Watch the beginning, laugh your ass off and then turn it off.
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Man alive that Charlie Kaufman is one wacky guy. I gotta know, how does he think of all that weird shit? That guy is totally out there, his imagination totally humbles me.
GONG
"Sorry about that folks, I thought that review was good, but then again I like swamp water. But I guarantee that this next act is going to blow your minds… or maybe it will make you blow your lunch…. Ha Ha… it's really a great act folks… oh it's so good. All the way from Muerte Labs it's Doctor Muerte and the Confessions of a Dangerous Mind review!"
Thanks Chuck. I just saw the directorial debut of George Clooney and boy is my ass sore. But seriously, I haven’t seen a movie this bad since I saw an ultra sound of baby Hitler. When this movie sucks around the theater it really sucks around the theater. Take my memory of having seen this atrocity, please! It wasn't all that bad though, really. In fact I bought two tickets for it. That's right, I bought one ticket to see it and one halfway through to leave.
At this time I would like to put my delusions of being an act on The Gong Show on hold and get down to reviewing the mess known as "Confessions of a Dangerous Mind".
"The Gong Show" is perhaps the Doctor's favorite show of all time. So when we at the Labs first got wind that Chuck Barris' unauthorized autobiography "Confessions of a Dangerous Mind" was being made into a film, I was overcome with an overwhelming sense of dread. In another time this would have not necessarily been the case, but with quality of movies these days being exceptionally poor, I could only hope for the worst. Fortunately, the project went into development hell, with actors and directors backing out of the project before it could get started. I was at peace, the work of Chuck Barris would not be tampered with by an entertainment industry that has forgotten what is entertaining. Then something terrible happened.
It escaped.
Few films escape development hell, but it seems that after all these years of suffering attacks from Muerte Labs, Hollywood has decided to fire a shot directly at us. Not only did the movie go into production, but they decided to cast my fugitive robot Julia Roberts in it. Such nerve, I honestly didn't think they had it in them.
Time passed and the movie hit theaters and strangely enough it was getting mostly rave reviews. Most of the reviews praised Sam Rockwell for his dead on portrayal of Chuck. This praise was a poorly executed attempt to get the Doctor to pay to see this movie. Perhaps they thought if I sat through a screening, I would raise the white flag and finally leave the entertainment industry alone.
Try again you rat bastards! You'll never get me that easily! First of all, I haven't forgotten the countless critics that claimed that Jim Carrey was not playing Andy Kaufman in Man on the Moon, he was Andy Kaufman. This sort of praise is a sure sign that the person that the movie is about has been completely forgotten by the public at large. Which means that anyone can play the role and receive praise from critics that want to sound as if they know what they are talking about.
Still I was mildly interested in seeing Sam Rockwell play Chuck. Since I had not seen him in anything before this movie and he was relatively unknown, he could possibly be the right choice for the role. Maybe, just maybe, here was an actor that could actually act. Something like that could have saved the movie from the performances of my fugitive robot and Drew Barrymore. Sadly this was not to be the case.
About a week after the movie came out, a screener of it was delivered to the lab. I pretended to hope for the best, but I knew full well what I was getting into. The movie was not only terrible, it fell far below the non-existent expectations I had for it. Touché Hollywood!
Where to start, where to start? Let's start with Mr. Rockwell. Sam Rockwell was good in the movie, he does the best damn Benicio del Toro impression I have ever seen, but Chuck Barris he is not. He said he prepared for the role by watching "a whole bunch of Gong Show tapes" and apparently spent some time living with Chuck Barris. If this is true, then it is truly shameful. The shortage of good actors at the moment is truly alarming. Why act, if you can't do your job? If he really studied that extensively for the part he should have been able to do a halfway decent job. Since he couldn't, he should find a new line of work, that is if there was any expectation for people to be good at what they do, these days.
The other major roles in this movie are entirely forgettable, with the exception of Rutger Hauer. But since he is a good actor he is forced to spend most of his time making direct to video movies and is hardly in this film at all.
On a positive note there are appearances by the real Jaye P. Morgan, Gene Gene the Dancin' Machine and Chuck himself, but these are all interview segments that pass in the blink of an eye and serve little purpose. On the other hand that minor positive is destroyed by the fact that The Unknown Comic is not played by Murray Langston. I demand to know why. It can't be because he was too busy. But hey, who gives a shit? Lets get some yo-yo to throw a paper bag on his head and act like a jackass, it’s the same thing.
Speaking of attention to detail, its time to move on to the most offensive part of this attack on Muerte Labs. What is that you ask? Why, Charlie Kaufman's script of course. Flavor of the month Charlie Kaufman, wrote a script that is chock full of his patented wacky cuckoo weirdness and very little of the book. Why make a movie out of the book, when Charlie Kaufman can make up stuff that is ten times better than the book? For instance he came up with an amazing twist where Chuck's father was a killer so it was in Chuck's blood to kill. Here's another doozy, Chuck's mother dressed him up like a girl until his sister was born. I recently had the pleasure of attending a Chuck Barris lecture and he said that in the original draft of the script, the brilliant mind of Charlie Kaufman decided to make Chuck a junkie. This was removed at Chuck's request, but there are still plenty of ridiculous departures from the book, which makes one wonder if Charlie Kaufman read the book at all.
To rub salt in the wound of what this movie could have been, the movie is beautifully shot and has some fairly clever sets. A more earnest attempt to polish a turd, I have not seen.
Hollywood, first you steal my robot and then you make this movie. You will pay dearly for this. No more Mr. Nice Doctor, you petty fools! This attack on the labs gets a zero Doctor Muertes out of 4 on the Muertemeter.
Doctor Muerte prescribes the following for viewers of "Confessions of a Dangerous Mind":
Read the book, do not see the movie, it doesn’t concern you. This is between the Doctor and the entertainment industry. | |
